How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack
There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall...
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How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack
How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only
comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward
off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as
harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues
are poised and ready to wreak havoc. The danger is real. And it’s
here.
Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck
Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for
safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include
step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing
and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a
secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers
at close range.
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